Operation Purity has been aborted
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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