Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
