I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A+ Viking dick
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
