Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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