so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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