Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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