we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I did not marry a roomba.
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