I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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