I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
