why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize