I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
