Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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