Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
