Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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