He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
