It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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