No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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