the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
