There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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