i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
