I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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