I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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