i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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