is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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