WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize