Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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