And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
why didn't you poke me back
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
