can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
