hell yes lets make some ravioli
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
