Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
