the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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