from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
