her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
