My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
