Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
