He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
