your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
