My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Drunk is not a location!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize