I have demons in me.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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