I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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