I don't remember. Are we still dating?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
