On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
