I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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