Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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