I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
