also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
