ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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