I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
