pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
