it was like his penis was on wheels.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
