Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
