I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
