Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
