I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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