the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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