told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
