the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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