Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My dick has a subreddit
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
