he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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