i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
