Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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