I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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