i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
