I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
