I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
