Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize