Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
