Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
